Now.  My life is far from perfect, but I feel I am on the path I am supposed to be on.  This gives me peace.

My kids...no doubt in my mind.

Every day my boys teach me about mindfulness.  It's funny, I struggled to cultivate mindfulness for years, and then on January 24 three years ago the best little teacher came into my life.  Every moment counts!

I sound like a broken record...once again, my answer is MY KIDS.  They wake up bright and early every morning (around 6 AM) and even though I intend to wake up earlier than they do so I can have some yoga time, I rarely do.  On a more spiritual level, setting my intention for a new day is what energizes me to get up and going.

Absolutely!  But stay-at-home parenting is 24/7, and you are constantly "on call". To me, at least in the last three years, the benefits have far outweighed the difficulties, but I can honestly say that I had no idea what I was in for before I started staying home. 

I admit I have some addictions that I'm not proud of--retail therapy, for instance.  Considering I spend a great deal of my time striving for a simple, uncomplicated life, it is incongruous that one of my favorite stress relievers is online shopping.  I am also an emotional eater. I really really enjoy making and eating food! I would call that a positive addiction most of the time.  But when I am under lots of stress, I bake like a mad woman .  So yes, those addictions are things I would like to get under control this year.

When I woke up this morning I realized that this is the first new year when I was not hoping for something to be "better".  This year I am looking forward to continued blessings and growth.  I don' t know what 2008 has in store for me, but I'm excited to find out!  Happy new year!

Yesterday was my state primary and I went to vote at my polling place, which is the school down the street.  I had the baby in a carrier on my back and the toddler walking alongside, and they are awfully cute, so we interact with strangers on a regular basis.  One of the election workers, an elderly man, came up to talk to us after I voted.  He was complimenting my toddler on his hat and was playing peek-a-boo with the baby.  He told me all about his grandchildren.  Having children has made me more open to the kindness of strangers because we are approached so often.  It is always nice to meet these "strangers" in my community, since they are my neighbors we really shouldn't be strangers at all.

I assume that all people are coming from a place of goodness.  However, I do have a hard time getting comfortable enough with people to truly trust them, but I think htat has more to do with my own shortcomings than those of others.  I find that it is easier for me to develop trust in someone if they seem open and honest and compassionate.  It also depends on what is meant by the word "trust".  As I said, I have a basic trust that everyone I meet is coming from a place of goodness and is not out to hurt me.  Having said that, I wouldn't necessarily trust someone with my secrets or to watch my children unless I knew them very well.

For a long time, I resisted any kind of change (except for my hair color. lol).  I had to learn (and am still learning) to not grow too attached to outcomes.

Getting up early to walk to elementary school in the winter...splashing in my moon boots across the busy street, watching the slush turn black from the passing cars.

I remember  sitting on the kitchen floor cutting out magazine pictures and pasting them to a cardboard box that I had turned into a dollhouse, and my Dzia-dzia (Grandpa) came over to have coffee with my parents and brought me some candy.   I think I was four years old because I remember my Mom holding my brother who was a baby at the time.  I don't know why that particular memory sticks out as the earliest I can remember.  It's always been a comforting one.

My nine month-old son has learned to clap his hands, now he claps for everything!

I love when both kids nap at the same time.  It is VERY rare.

A good cup of tea.

A good book.

A phone call or e-mail from my husband during his work day.

Good news from a friend.

Babies!

Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate...

Today my son Luka turns three years old.  I can't believe how fast he is growing up, right before my eyes.  Three years ago today I was so scared of giving birth, and had no idea what to expect from the little person who would be coming home with me.  I read a book by Jon Kabat Zinn where he says that our children are like little zen masters who one day parachute into our living rooms.  I have learned so much from my son in these three short years.  The gratefulness I feel for having such a beautiful little soul in my life is overwhelming.  Happy birthday, Luka!

There are so many things that, had I learned them earlier, my life would have been much easier.  However, I have to believe that all lessons came at a time and place that I needed them most.  If there is one thing I wish I would have learned earlier, it's the fact that my parents are not the enemies I made them out to be when I was a teenager and young adult.  I have a close relationship to them now, but I took them for granted for many years and assumed that they just didn't "get" me.  Years later I've gained perspective and an understanding of who THEY are as people, not just as parents.  Turns out they understood me more than I thought...

For the past nine nights I have been having some weird baby/pregnancy-related dreams.  Most of those nights I wake up frantically looking for my THIRD child (I only have two).  My husband is getting worried because he has spent the last several nights trying to remind me that we only have two and they are safe in the bed while I search the bedroom (I have no memory of this, except for the initial waking).  Last night my dream involved a frantic search for a POAS pregnancy test because I was pregnant but not feeling any symptoms.  When I woke up from that one I wondered if all of these mean that I could be pregnant, but that is pretty unlikely.  I am afraid that they might be trying to tell me that my body is running out of time to have more babies.  I'm only 34 and I didn't have any problem conceiving my two boys, but I have endometriosis and while it has not affected my ability to get pregnant so far, I worry that it will.  I guess a more positive interpretation of these dreams might be that my body if gearing up to ovulate again (I haven't had a cycle yet, with my first son I didn't have one until 15 months postpartum).  I don't know...it's just starting to weird me out...

...that world peace would begin right now, that all living beings will find joy in our interconnectedness, that we will all smile and laugh more, and that our children will have a safe and healthy community in which to grow.

So many things...hmmm, where do I start?

--The body's ability to heal...our physical bodies go through so much wear and tear, and yet have a way of mending themselves if we let them.

--Being able to love MORE.

--Yummy vegan cupcakes (my current obsession)

--How the snow on the branches forms such a beautiful yet simple work of art, right outside my window.

--My husband's Guitar Hero 3 skills :)

--My boys...their energy, their smiles, the fact that they once lived inside my body, the rate at which they grow and change.