On 9/11/01, I was one week into my first teaching job.  When the school secretary called me out into the hall to tell me what happened, I remember coming back into the classroom to all of those innocent 7 year-old faces and hoping that my own face had not betrayed the information I'd just heard.  This day will always remind me of the stark contrast between the beauty of life and innocence (my students) and the ugliness of such a tragedy.  "Tragedy" seems like too soft, too light of a word to describe what happened to all of those innocent people and their families.  Since that day our country has lived in a culture of fear, perpetuated by our own government.  When I look at my own children this morning, I know that this is NOT what I want for their futures. For me, 9/11 is a reminder that we have to be active for change, and that peace must begin within ourselves if we ever expect it to be any more far-reaching.

Still easily bruised...but not so much as in the past.

A baby!!

I have two of them...the first is cuddling with my kids for a bit before we all start our day.  The second is my cup of tea after the kids are napping...I really need a break by that point and the preparation of tea is the perfect exercise in mindfulness to get me grounded again (before they wake up!).

Wow, I really had to think about this one!  I guess the people I know aren't big letter-writers (e-mail would be another story!).  I don't know if this would be the best letter I've EVER received, but I recently opened a letter from a cousin who I hadn't seen or talked to in quite awhile.  A little back story...I have 27 first cousins, about half of us are pretty close and the other half we don't see very often.  This particular cousin and her parents lived next door to my family when she was a baby.  Our two families were close and did a lot together, and then something happened, my parents aren't sure exactly what.  My cousin's family ended up estranged from most of our big family.  Everyone invites them to gatherings, calls them on the phone, but they do not respond or seem interested.  Anyhow, this cousin is now in college.  She wrote me a nice letter congratulating me on the birth of my second son.  She wrote that she is studying to be a nurse and she really enjoys school, and she would love to come and meet my kids some time.  This note really touched my heart because I thought it was so cool that she reached out.  I sent a letter back inviting her to come over any time she was free.  I hope I get to see her.  Her letter made it seem like she would like to have some contact with the family again.

My accomplishments are not too impressive...but my character is a work in progress, and I am proud of that.  I feel like the more I learn, the more potential I have to become the best person I can be.

I think they might be one and the same, although I really don't have that one figured out.  I would like to believe that after I die I will move into a state of peacefulness and pure happiness.  Perhaps a part of my spirit will be born again to work out the things I did not in this life. It's a mystery...

Well, unfortunately the first teacher who had the biggest impact on me was one who had a negative impact.  My fifth grade science teacher was, as I can see now, a deeply disturbed woman who should not have been teaching anyone.  It was back in the 80s, we were taught togreet each teacher with "Good morning,'teacher's name'!" when they entered the classroom, and this teacher would yell back  "WHAT's SO GOOD ABOUT IT??".  This was the first year I stopped liking school, and I was always afraid of what her moods might bring.

Fast forward to sophomore year of high school, I had another teacher who had an impact, this time a positive one.  Mr. Price was my history teacher, and he was a returned Peace Corps volunteer.  His worldview intrigued me, especially the way he spoke about the excesses of greed in politics.  I do think that having him as a teacher opened my eyes to the world around me and has made me a more compassionate, conscientious citizen.  I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Price was a Zaadster!

I love the fall and the changing of the season is a perfect time for the changing of habits.  First of all, I'm hoping to feel a lot better by the end of this month, battling some anxiety issues.  I also hope to be back into a regular yoga practice and make time for meditation.  I am starting to plan one simple preschool lesson per day with my 2.5 year old so I would like to make that into a routine by the end of the month.

I am ashamed to admit it, but I am very judgmental when it comes to people who have children that they treat as accessories.  I understand that I may only be seeing one small aspect of their parent/child relationship and I should not judge based on that...but my blood boils every time I hear a parent regarding their child as an inconvenience and trying to control them rather than honoring their childhood.  The decision to have children should not be one taken lightly, in my opinion.  There are so many people out there who struggle to conceive and would like to have a child to nurture, it seems a shame that for many others, a child is nothing more than another "object" to meet the status quo.

I love the first day of autumn.  As autumn symbolizes a time of rest in the seasons, it always seems to be the catalyst of changes in my life.

The swings...I could swing for hours, daydreaming.

This probably sounds strange...We live in a bungalow, so our whole top level is our bedroom.  When I walk up the stairs at night, there is a window at the top of the landing where I get a perfect view of the moon.  Many times when I have needed centering I have just sat in that spot to gaze at the moon.  It feels sacred, it feels holy, and best of all, it is mine.  In the morning when I wake up and go down the stairs, from the same windows I can see the treetops and the clouds.  My kids and I stay at the window for a moment and say "good morning" to nature.

Definitely a treehouse!  A cave would not appeal to the claustrophobic in me...

Yes and no.  I believe that the mind is so powerful that it can transform a perception into happiness.  However, is it really a choice for everyone?  I think our human condition naturally can lead to UNhappiness.  Some of us have the power and the privilige to change that, but I don't think everyone does.  I think of the children in Iraq whose homes and families have been destroyed by the war, or those in Darfur.  Are they really in any state to make a choice to be happy after what they go through every day?  Maybe someday...I do think it is the responsibility of those of us who are able to make the choice to do so and to channel that toward creating peace in our world, for the sake of those who can't choose.

Ha!  I don't have money in the bank now so there will not likely be any when I die either...

Seriously, I seem to have a fear of having too much money--not that I've ever been in danger of having a lot of it, but it scares me to have more than my share.  I'm not sure why.

My paternal Grandma passed away in June 2006.  That was a hard one for me, which actually surprised me, as terrible as that sounds.  She lived in Chicago so I only saw her a few times each year, and up until the last 5 years or so, I was always afraid of her.  She was never mean to me, just very strict and very outspoken.  In the last several years, as I've matured and perhaps my Grandma mellowed a bit, I was able to learn more about her life and come to appreciate her.  When she died, I found myself feeling guilty for all of those years that I really didn't want to see her.  I was lucky to be able to call her in the hospital as she was dying, and I told her I loved her.  She told me she loved me too.  I think that was the first time either of us had said that to each other.  I feel her presence often, and I do believe that her spirit hangs around my house quite often!  I became pregnant shortly after her death, and I often had the feeling that she was looking after my older son when I was not feeling well.  So as I type all of this I am seeing that I am not really answering the question since I don't really miss her since she since I still feel her spirit here, I guess I just wish I could have healed our relationship earlier.

Going against the tenet of Right Speech, I would have no problem lying if it involves seriously sparing someone's feelings.  I can think of a specific instance in my life when I feel like it was actually better for me to lie than to tell the truth.  A friend was going through a very hard time in her life, and I understood why.  Things were falling apart around her and she was not handling it well.  She asked me if I had heard other people talking about her and her situation.  I had, but this particular friend would have become obsessed with that information.  I told her that I did not know what people were saying and that it shouldn't matter anyways.  A lie, yes, because I did know.  But I think it was better for her mental health not to have me confirm what she was already fearing.

I lose my energy in the afternoon, around 3:00 or so.  Of course at that time both kids have TONS of energy!  So, I've been trying to plan fun things for us to do around that time, even though I'm horrendously tired, at least I won't be able to flop on the couch.